I was being a smartass with one of my customers when she asked me how much her tattoo would cost. Through email correspondence, I told her the price would be two chickens, a donkey, seven marbles and a silver thimble. After finishing her tattoo today, what does she hand me?

Two little toy chickens, a little toy donkey, and a baggie with seven marbles and a silver thimble.

That's gotta be the best godsdamn tip I've gotten in a long time.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, and in water there is bacteria.